Cheeses Spice, Supersize
by Corrupt Innocence
Summary: You thought you knew Jesus Christ Superstar. You were all wrong! See the real thing! (By real I mean the version created by a couple of band members with major JCS withdrawal) You'll Laugh, I promise.


PRESENTING: CHEESES SPICE, SUPERSIZE!

Earlier this year, one of my bestest friends ( I wont name him here until I get his approval) and I were in a production of Jesus Christ: Superstar as the Pianist (Him) and the Bassist (Me). While the actors had been practising since the beginning of 2004, the band was learning their music 2/3's through 2003. Needless to say that when the show was over and done, we were feeling quite empty as it was nearly a year of work that was all done and finished. This is basically the product of our sad, sad Jesus Christ Superstar Sudden Deficiency Syndrome. It's all in bits and fragments of inspiration now, but when we've hopefully written up all the songs, we can stick it into chapters for you. It is everywhere and all over the place but what can you do? :p

Disclaimer: Unfortunately we don't own JCS. It was made by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber. We do own Cheeses Spice, Supersize though, which I like much better anyway, so Nyah! :p

Hope you enjoy it as much as the cast and we do coz damn it's made us so crazy in a fun way.

* * *

**Cheeses Spice Supersize Cast Clarification:**

**Cheeses Spice: Jesus Christ**

**Chewedus Itscarroty: Judas Iscariot**

**Poachus Pie-Plate: Pontius Pilate**

**Dairy Margerine: Mary Magdalene**

**Dairy Smothered in Spice: Mary, Mother of Christ**

**Pepper the Rock Candy: Peter the Rock**

**King Herring: King Herrod**

**Fryon Shallots: Simon Zealotes.**

**Casserole: Caiaphas**

**Aniseed: Annas**

**Cauliflower: Claudia (May not actually be in Stage version...) **

* * *

Supersize (Superstar) 

Chewedus:

Every time I cook for you I don't wash my hands,

Everything seems to stick to my non-stick pan.

You'd have managed better if you'd had my flan,

Compared to my cooking other food is too bland.

If you'd come today you would have fed a whole nation,

Israel in four BC had bad dates of expiration!

**Trial By Pie-Plate  
**

Pie-plate:

What do you mean? You would stir-fry this thing?

Crowd:

We have nothing but cheeses! Stir-ir fry him!

Pie-Plate:

What's with these Cheeses?

Are they imported?

Just to keep you cultured happy,

I shall grate him!

Crowd:

Stir-ir-fry him! Stir-ir-fry him!

**Herring's Song (Herod's Song)**

Herring:

Cheeses, I am overjoyed to eat your salmon paste,

You were all we talked about, your wonderfu-ul taste.

Mm! Yes, I am waiting, Yes I have stacked your pan,

I'm am frying to be shown that you're not just breakfast bran...

So, You are the Spice,

Yes, the Great Cheeses Spice!

Feed my Household with this bread,

You can go on it as a spread!

Crumb on, King of the Juice!

**Fryon Shallots (Simon Zealotes)**

Fryon:

Christ what more do you knead, to convince you,

That you've made it and your seasoning is strong,

As the fish, from Rome who roast our corned beef,

And who've stir-fried our meatballs for so long!

Fryon and Crowd:

Spice you know I dust you!

Did you see my grains?

I've sauteed both you and Cob,

So tell me that I'm sieved.

Fryon and Crowd:

You've got the flour and the dory! With fennel, with fennel, with fennel! OVEN!

**Pepper's De-fillet (Peter's Denial)**

Mean Lady:

I think I've seen you somewhere,

I remember!

You were with that pan they stacked away,

I recognise your glaze!

(skip some of song, lalala)

Dairy:

Pepper, don't you know what you have said?

You've gone and cut his bread...

Pepper:

I had to do it don't you see?

To share it equally....

**Everything's All Fried (everything's alright)**

Dairy:

Everything's all fried,

Yes, everything's dry,

And we want you to simmer well tonight,

Let the spit turn without you tonight!

Cloves are spice,

Cloves are spice,

Yes relax, think of nutmeg tonight!

**This Cheeses must fry (this Jesus must die)**

Priest One:

Good Casserole, The buffet waits for you...

Priest Two:

The Parsley's and yeasts are here for you....

Casserole:

Ah, Roasted Lamb, You know why we are here,

We've not much thyme, and quite a side dish here....

(skip some more of song)

Aniseed:

What then to do about Cheeses of The Sandwich?  
Miracle microwave, kitchen of tools.

Priest Three:  
No rice, no almonds, no frying, no sugars.

Casserole:  
One thing I'll savour him -- Cheeses is cool.

Aniseed:  
We pear not leave him to his own devices.  
His Gas-oven fans will get out of control.

Priests:  
But how can we stop him?  
His glazing increases  
By leeks every moment; he's top of the roll.

Casserole:  
Fruits, you have no peppermint!  
The steaks we are grilling are frighteningly spiced!  
We must crush him completely,  
So like Scone before him, these Cheeses must Fry.  
For the sake of the basting, these Cheeses must Fry.

Casserole and Priests:

Must Fry, Must Fry, This Cheeses must, Cheeses Must, Cheeses Must FRY!

**Could We Start again Please:**

Pepper:

I've been dying to feed you,

Dying to feed you but it shouldn't be like this.

This was unexpected,

I used to much flour!

Could we start again please...

Dairy Smothered with Spice:

Could we strain some beans, peas?

**Chewedus' Death (Judas' Death):**

Chewedus:

My Cob! I saw him,

He's not ¾ done!

I think I forgot to turn the oven on!

You knead him so hard that he was bent and grained!

Now I know who every beef is going to flame!

I don't believe he knows I Cooked him for our food!

Save him all the simmering if I could!

Do Believe, Our food!

Our food's, Cooked through!

(skip some again)

_Chewedus:Version 1:_

My Oven's in darkness.  
Cob, Cob I'm on a stick,

I've been Chewed,  
All the thyme you chewed!.  
Cob, Cob I'll never ever know why you froze me for your thyme.  
Your spuddy thyme...

_Chewedus: Version 2:_

My Oven's in darkness.  
Cob, Cob I'm sick.

I think it was the food poisoning...

I've been Chewed,  
All the thyme you chewed!.  
Cob, Cob I'll never ever know why you froze me for your thyme.  
Your spuddy thyme...

Choir  
Poor old Chewedus. So long Chewedus.

Chewedus:  
You have marinated meat.... etc to fade.

**The Last Supper**

Cheeses:

For all you eclairs, this wine could be my blood.  
For all you eclairs, this cheese could be my body.  
The eggs! This is my blood you drink.  
This is my body you eat.

Wait bread's cheaper than cheese, I'll use it instead.

Chewedus:  
Cut out the low fat tricks!  
You knead very well who.

Cheeses:  
Why don't you go chew it?

Chewedus:  
You want me to chew it!

Cheeses:  
Hurry, they are grating!.

Chewedus:  
If you knew why I chew it

Cheeses:  
I don't care why you chew it!

Chewedus:  
To think I had iced you.  
Well now I deep fry you.

Cheeses:  
You fryer. You Chewedus!

Chewedus:  
You want me to chew it!  
What if I just steaked here  
And ruined your fruit dishes.  
Spice, you do serve it.

Cheeses:  
Curry, you food. Curry and go.  
Save me your fishes,  
I don't want to know. Go!

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this! It was so much fun to do and to sing at random too! Enjoy, but please ask before distributing as it's a kind of personal band joke that means a lot. You know what us musician folk are like.

Corrupt and Her Friend.


End file.
